I have been told by several people that I will always have a hole in my heart for the babies I’ve lost.
Is this true?
When I think of that saying, I immediately think of having sadness or a part of me that will never be healed. Is this a reality? Or can this ‘hole’ be filled and restored?
For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the LORD.
Jeremiah 30:17 (ESV)
We know that God is in the business of healing and restoring what’s been lost in our lives, but does that mean that the hole in our hearts will be filled?
This is a tricky question to answer, and I know we will all have different opinions on the matter, but I do believe that we can reach a place of healing where that wound will be more of a bruise (if even) than a hole. I think of my two babies in heaven and how much I miss them, and there is a part of me that wishes they could be here with me right now, but I have found healing and joy in knowing that they are still alive in heaven and that I will see them again one day. I don’t know that there is still a hole in my heart. There is a part of me that knows our family is not complete here on earth, but I know that we will be complete once we’re all in heaven together.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
There are times when finding healing and fulfillment in God’s goodness and mercy might take longer, and we may feel the need to be proactive in finding ways to patch up the ‘hole’ in our hearts. I don’t think that taking it into our own hands will bring the fulfilled healing to our hearts comparable to what God can provide, but there may be things we can do in the meantime to help us move forward in our healing journeys.
Perhaps doing something to honor the person that has passed away and help leave behind a bit of a legacy is something to consider. I decided to start this blog and write a book to bring encouragement and hope to those who have also lost a baby, and all of this is in honor of Briela and Jocea. Ultimately it is so God’s goodness and glory will shine, but it is because of the loss of my children that I was inspired to do these endeavors. Because of doing this, I feel like I am honoring and remembering my girls while still moving forward.
Other ideas may include completing a scrapbook or memory book of all the moments you had together, or moments you could have only dreamed of having together. Write a letter to the person you lost, or fill a shadow box with little trinkets you’ve saved for them. Ask God what it is you can do to move forward or how that hole can be filled. It may be as simple as reaching out to others who need to find hope as well. Showing kindness and love to others is a great way to fill yourself with a sense of fulfillment as well.
So with that being said, I do think the hole that’s left in our hearts after losing a loved one can be restored and repaired through God’s creative hands. I believe He can do a work in our lives that will bring healing in a way that we can’t on our own.
What do you think?
Do you feel as though a hole has been left in your heart since the loss of your child?
Do you feel that it has/will be repaired?
Let me know, I’d love to hear your opinion on the matter!