What to do when the unexpected happens?

It can be quite a challenge processing something that doesn’t go the way you planned or expected it to.

I’ve had a few instances of this in my life.  Obviously with the loss of my babies, but also with other promises God has given me.

Let me focus first on the loss of Briela.  While pregnant with her, she had been given multiple prophetic words spoken over her life.  Some were quite specific.  In the early stages of pregnancy I had quite a lot of bleeding, which brought fear – but even then God spoke life over that pregnancy and baby.

In the hours after she was born (and still alive), it didn’t even cross my mind to pray over her because I had no doubt in the world that she would be fine, based on what God had spoken.  So when we got the news that she had indeed passed away, it was a shock that I couldn’t even comprehend.

Now, I think it might be easy at this point to look at God and say “What the heck?” “Were you lying this whole time?” “What was the point of all that confirmation?”, etc., etc.  And you know, I did ask a lot of those questions!  It didn’t make any sense, and I wanted answers!

But I think what surprised me the most, was that instead of angrily asking these questions to God and holding Him accountable for ‘His’ actions, I ran to Him in desperate need of His comfort.  Sometimes the answers can wait, and what we need in a specific moment is just to be held, and kept from drowning in grief.

I still don’t know all the answers, but I find that with choosing to live my life in peace instead of stopping everything to figure out ‘Why?’, is just so much more enjoyable.  Maybe one day I will have my answers, but if not, then I will choose to look forward and continue knowing that God is still good.

When I had the miscarriage, I basically asked God all the tough questions, held Him accountable and stayed angry.  I chose to distance myself from Him, which resulted in my wallowing in grief alone.  Through my experience, this is not the way to deal with the unexpected!  It took longer to heal, it made life less worth living and it made me feel worthless.

So how about other areas in life where the unexpected happens?

What if you plan to take a trip, only to break your leg the day before you leave?  What if you have big plans to become a doctor, only to fail your classes?

Do you get angry?  Do you brush yourself off and try again?  Do you blame it all on God?  Do you blame yourself?

I think life will always throw curve balls our way, and we can’t always predict what’s going to happen, especially when we plan things ourselves.  So what about when God speaks over our lives and gives us promises?

It’s common to receive prophetic words in the christian environment – so what happens when you’re given one and it just doesn’t seem to be coming into fruition, or it even seems like the opposite has taken place?

I am currently going through this question, and am learning to continue being faithful and trusting in my God.  You see, after Briela passed away, I heard very clearly from God that He would give us a daughter if we chose to have more children.  I got so excited about this word!  He made it very clear, and I had a lot of confirmation regarding this promise.  So when it eventually came time for my husband and I to start trying again for another baby – we chose to do it with the belief that it would be with a girl.  We were so excited!

From that moment until halfway through the pregnancy, we knew we were having a girl.  There was no doubt in our minds. It wasn’t until my 20 week ultrasound that we found out we were actually having a boy.  We were having the complete opposite of what God had promised for us!  We were shocked!!

That day (and a few days following), I really struggled with having faith and trusting God’s promises.  The bible says multiple times that if you have faith and believe, that God will answer your prayers (not to mention that He Himself had given us this option!) so it brought a few things into question.

Can we co-labor with God?  Or do we just sit back and let Him do all the work in our lives without our input?  That doesn’t sounds right… Can we trust what He says, or do we just say ‘Oh that’s nice, hopefully that’ll actually happen.’ that doesn’t seem right either…

So how do we respond to the unexpected?

First, I will ask God “What the heck?” (He won’t be offended by that ;)) Maybe He’ll answer, or maybe He won’t.  I feel like sometimes He will stay silent and let you have your time to reflect on who He is and the testimonies that He has orchestrated in the past, and let you come to the conclusion that yes, you can still trust Him even if it doesn’t make sense!

There will also be times where He will answer – and that could be through the Bible, through impressions, through His still small voice, etc, etc.  We just have to keep our eyes on Him and we will find our way.

Personally, I believe that I did hear God, and that He did tell me the truth – I just believe that He has different timing, and maybe we aren’t yet finished having children.  Or maybe a daughter (or two) will come in a different form (adoptive, spiritual, etc.)  Who knows?  I think 20 years from now I’ll look back and say Hey!  That promise did come into fruition!!

And you know what?  I have grown on the idea of having another boy – and honestly, if the doctor was wrong and my baby actually came out being a girl… I don’t know how I’d feel about that! ha.  I’m so in love with this little boy already 🙂  I can’t wait to meet him!

So with all that being said… what do we do when the unexpected happens?  I think we just hold on and (try to) enjoy the ride.  We have no idea what God has up His sleeves in each chapter that we’re in, what His timing is and what the end results will be.  I do believe, though, that the end results will be good!  We just have to hold on to hope and keep our eyes on God!