Losing a baby, or going through any hardship can be really disheartening – especially when it’s something you’ve been praying into. Aren’t our prayers supposed to be effective?
It is especially difficult to keep the faith when it was a direct promise from God that seems to have fizzled. It says in the bible several times how He does not break His promises.
So what are we to do and believe?
In regards to losing a loved one, I fully believe that it is never God’s intention for a person to die at such a young age. It is true that He knows all things, but it is not something He necessarily planned to have happen. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10), so we know that it is the enemy who ruins our plans.
This is something that I personally can’t wrap my head around, though. We have wrapped our baby in the safety of our prayers, and yet the enemy was still able to come in and take her life. This is something I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to comprehend – especially with knowing God is bigger than our enemy and can stop what he’s doing easily.
With that being said, though, I think we need to see the scenario from the Father’s point of view. As a parent, would He allow His children to have whatever they wanted, knowing full well that it might not be what’s best for them?
I think of my own children. Sometimes they might ask for or expect something from me, but with having more wisdom, I am able to give them what I know is for their own good.
How about instead of living in a life of “Why couldn’t we have what we wanted?!”, we live a life of “What were you protecting us from?”
Another thing to consider is God’s timing. I think so often we hear a promise from God, whether through prophetic word or directly, and expect it to come into fruition right away.
After Briela passed away, God spoke to me about giving me a daughter if that was what I chose. I imagined it would be with the next pregnancy. So after becoming pregnant with a ‘daughter’, I was in complete and utter surprise to be pregnant with a little boy!
At that time I was floored that God had broken His promise to me. I was in such a state of shock that I never stopped to consider the long term plan God had for me and my family. Yes, He has given us another son, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have the daughter He promised us sometime in the future!
I think we need to focus not so much on what’s happening right now, but big picture!
So what does the bible say about all this?
God means what He says. What He says goes. His powerful word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey.
Hebrews 4:12 (Message Translation)
When God wanted to guarantee His promises, He gave His word, a rock-solid guarantee – God can’t break His word. And because His word cannot change, the promise is likewise unchangeable. We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go.
Hebrews 6:17-18 (Message Translation)
And now I want each of you to extend that same intensity toward a full-bodied hope, and keep at it till the finish. Don’t drag your feet. Be like those who stay the course with committed faith and then get everything promised to them.
Hebrews 6:12 (Message Translation)
The bible is filled with verses encouraging us to keep the faith.
Here’s a list to start you off:
- Psalm 27:14
- Psalm 31:24
- Psalm 31:24
- Psalm 131:3
- Psalm 18:20
- Psalm 55:22
- Psalm 37:5
- Proverbs 16:20
- Proverbs 4:20-22
- Proverbs 3:5-7
- Proverbs 14:34
- Matthew 5:4
- Matthew 24:13
- John 16:33
- John 14:27
- John 15:5
- Romans 4:20
- Romans 8:24-25
- 1 Corinthians 1:9
- 2 Corinthians 5:7
- Ephesians 2:7-8
- Philippians 4:14
- Colossians 1:11
- 1 Thessalonians 5:24
- James 5:11
- James 1:2-4
- 1 Peter 1:7
Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.
2 Corinthians 7:10 (Message Translation)
We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next.
Romans 5:3-4 (Message Translation)
You need to stick it out, staying with God’s plan so you’ll be there for the promised completion.
Hebrews 10:36 (Message Translation)
(Check out some more inspirational verses here)
On a writing tangent I had back in the beginning of January, I questioned God about the topic of co-laboring and why prayers are sometimes seemingly unanswered. Here are some of the responses that I received; He sees the big picture. He knows what’s best for me. He is allowing me to grow and mature. He is giving me answers to tough questions (in unconventional ways). He is enabling me. I realized that I just need to stay focused on Him and trust Him. He is never going to let me down, even when I only see the small scope of things.
I think, as hard as it may be sometimes, that instead of stopping life to question “Why?” and dwell on the unknown, we should be hopeful and know that it is not the end, and God still has good for us. We need to keep moving forward knowing that God has it all under control.
I do love Job’s story and find encouragement in it. Even though he was a God-fearing man, he had everything taken away from him, he got sick and life became seemingly hopeless. But God is a restorer! Job not only had everything returned to him, but returned twice over! What a testimony to grab hold of!
When we’re going through hardships, especially when losing a baby, we need to find hope. The bible is a great resource for hope and has a lot of content that will help lead us in the right direction. So when life throws curve balls at us that are completely unexpected, instead of running from God and His truths, I believe we should embrace them and allow Him and His words to comfort us during these hard times. He wants what’s best for us, we only need to allow Him to do His work in our lives.
Lord, I pray that as we read through Your Word, that You highlight verses that would speak directly into our situation and hearts. I pray that You would give us answers to questions we didn’t know we had, and wisdom in helping others who may also be going through the trials we ourselves have/are going through. Thank You for Your goodness and love for us.