It has been over two years since our little girl went to heaven, and I feel like so much of what God has been doing in my life since then has started to evolve into something new. God worked a miracle in my life. He brought me hope and comfort, joy and peace. His presence was very evident in my life. When we’re feeling broken, His voice and presence just seem more apparent and obvious when we choose to focus our attention on Him, and sometimes it’s easy to wonder if we would hear Him so clearly when not going through hardships.
We are always going through different seasons in our lives – sometimes our walk with God is strong and we feel like nothing will break that connection we have with Him, while at other times we feel like we’re walking through the desert and have such a struggle in hearing His voice. Sometimes He will call us into new and unfamiliar territories where we need to trust in Him or else we’ll fail (or at least do mediocre), or sometimes He will call us to continue what we’re doing, but at a much greater or anointed level.
When walking with God, life is not boring!
I just left my ‘hardship’ season in my life where His presence was obvious, and I am now entering a new season. I am still feeling His presence, but instead of simply bringing me comfort and encouragement, He is now preparing me for new and exciting things. So far 2017 has been the year of breakthrough for me. I have stepped into unfamiliar territory in an area I was not comfortable, and (although it is still a process) have found victory in that. And now I am hearing God’s voice encouraging me to push through in another area of breakthrough…
I’m going to take a walk through my past for a moment now to give you a glimpse of who I was and where I am today. Since I was about five years old, I’ve been a dancer. I loved dancing and took lessons throughout my entire childhood/teenage years. In fact, through my teenage years I was enrolled in full time dance, which means I took about 8 classes a week. I competed, took workshops and did all things choreographed-dance. I saw myself as a dancer and took great pride in that. Even today as a 31 year old who hasn’t taken a lesson since 19, I look back at those days and see dance as a part of my being. It’s a part of my identity.
Interestingly though, with all those years of training and practice, spontaneous dance in front of an audience remains one of my fears. If someone would come up to me and teach me a quick routine, I’d jump up and do it with a smile on my face. If someone came up to me and told me to improvise a dance, I would freak out. What’s up with that?
A few years ago (while pregnant with Briela) a stranger came up to me and told me I had an anointing for dance. I just shrugged it off. She encouraged me to get up front and dance, but I used the excuse of being pregnant to not (ha). I really didn’t feel excited about that word and kind of put it at the back of my mind. It wasn’t until recently that I remembered that word and got excited about it. You see, in the past month or so God has been speaking to me about dancing, specifically during worship at church each Sunday. There was even one particular service where my legs literally felt numb with anticipation of moving… but I fought it, then I jumped a few times, felt dumb, then stopped. Each Sunday during worship I receive such an invitation from the Holy Spirit to come right to the front (there is a nice open space specifically for dancers, flaggers, etc. in our church). My heart pounds, my palms get sweaty, you know – all those signs that you’re supposed to do something and I just start analyzing everything. “OK, I’ll dance if this particular song plays”, or “I’ll dance if the tempo is right”, or 100 other reasons to dance.
When there’s a fear of doing something, it is so easy to find excuses not to do that something. It is so easy to procrastinate or find the ‘right’ time (whenever that is), but we need to remember the reason for doing it. Who is calling us to do it? Will His glory shine through if you do it? Will there be breakthrough? Often times what we’re called to do is right on the other side of our fears, so imagine the victory we have once we overcome that fear! I can’t wait to get there… I will get there!
So here I am today… a rusty dancer who needs to break out of her comfort zone and worship the way God intended. He loves dance and He loves when we worship through it, and today He is calling me into this form of worship. I am so excited, and so nervous at the same time.
I believe it’s the same with anyone – whether God calls you to write a book about your victory, or travel the globe to speak to others about God, or open your doors to someone in need, whatever it is, by being obedient to what God is calling you to do, others will benefit as well! You will receive your breakthrough, and others will be exposed to God’s love and goodness through you. It just makes sense.
Do you want 2017 to be a year of breakthrough for yourself as well? Do you feel your heart stirring regarding anything in particular? Does that make you feel nervous or anxious? Maybe it’s time to step into the greater things God has in store for you and find victory in that place! I know it is so easy to say “Just do it!”, but to actually do it is another story… so let’s do it, let’s make 2017 the year of breakthrough, and break through any fears or reservations we may have and give God all the glory He deserves!