Rainbow Toddler

It has been one year since our rainbow baby toddler was born, and what a year it has been!

In this past year Tobias has grown to be quite an amazing person.  He steals our attention, makes us laugh, and fills our hearts with such joy!

He has learned how to walk, which these days is more like a run.  He is very observant and will copy what he sees us do.  He loves music and will dance whenever he hears a beat.  He is funny, and has even mastered his own fake laugh.

This year has been a year I am so grateful for.  I am so grateful to God for gifting us with this little man.  He fits into our family beautifully – even with his two big brothers who love him to bits!

Do I think our family is complete?  Almost.  The baby fever is creeping up on me, and the thought of having another baby fills me with excitement.  So yes, our family is full, but I think we can fit one more in 😉

Do I still think of Briela, even though we have an amazing one year old, 4 year old and 6 year old?  Everyday.  I still miss her and am realizing that I will never not miss her.  I will never be without some degree of sadness or longing in my thoughts of her.

I wondered before about the idea of having a hole in my heart for the rest of my life, as some people had told me.  I still believe that God is the restorer and fills any voids we may have in our lives, but I think it’s totally normal to have a scar leftover, just like the cesarean scar left on my body where Briela emerged from.  It’s a reminder of what was.  My body is now healed, but that little scar will always remain.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:10

So… Happy First Birthday to my dear, wonderful Tobias.


“That’s all I get?”


Your name means goodness of God, and this past year has been a testament to that with you in it!