When we pray into something and the opposite seems to happen, it becomes a test in the strength of our faith, showcased by how we choose to react.
When we lose a baby, we are no longer naive or ignorant to the reality of what could happen in a pregnancy. We may have been aware of the possibility of pregnancy loss before, but once we have experienced it firsthand, it becomes real on a whole new level. The next time we become pregnant, we are very much aware that unplanned things can happen, and that revelation can either shake us or cause our faith levels to grow stronger.
About a month and a half before losing Briela, I had written this in my journal:
“We take the good days from God – why not also the bad days?” Job 2:10
When things seem to all go wrong and bad things happen to us, why get upset with God? If nothing bad ever happened, our relationship with Him would likely not be as strong as it is. A lot of the time He uses these scenarios to strengthen us and our relationship/trust/faith in Him. He’s preparing us for bigger and better things in His plans for us.
We need to have this preparation/training time if we want to do the things He has created us for.
Everything we go through, no matter how alone we may feel, He is with us and will always be our light – even if, in the moment, it doesn’t feel like He is.
Obviously I had not known that we were about to lose our little girl and was referring to other trials in life, but I do see some relevance in a child-loss scenario. It may not be His will that we lose our children, but He will use the situation for good, if we choose to follow and listen to Him. My hope and prayer is that this blog is bringing hope and encouragement to others who have gone through a loss, and I see that as the ‘good’ that God is bringing from a crappy situation.
If we don’t allow God to work His goodness into the hard times, I believe that they will remain hard times and will be harder to find hope and healing from those situations. If we put the blame on God and allow our faith to fall, we’re fulfilling the enemies plans and putting a smile on the devil’s face (yuck!). It may be hard at times to keep our eyes focused on God, but remember all the good that He has done for you, and know that He is there waiting with open arms to comfort you and lift you out of that dark place. He is a good Father!
Keeping the Faith for Future Pregnancies
Remember before losing a child how confident and optimistic you were about your anticipated baby? The biggest concern wasn’t whether the baby would make it to term, or if baby would make it through the labor, or the first hours of life. No, the biggest concern was most likely in regards to raising the little one. What life would be like after their arrival.
Remember after losing a child, how you felt with your next pregnancy? Were your thoughts focused more on life after the baby arrives? Or simply getting through the pregnancy without any heartache?
How do we get back to that child-like faith of knowing that God is protecting our little ones and we don’t need to worry about their survival?
We may not have the ignorance that we had before, but if we allow God to renew our hearts and minds and surrender our worries and fears to Him, then I believe that He will make all things new – even our outlook.
I love the passage from Hosea 2:14-15 (Message translation):
“And now, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to start all over again. I’m taking her back out into the wilderness where we had our first date, and I’ll court her. I’ll give her bouquets of roses. I’ll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope. She’ll respond like she did as a young girl, those days when she was fresh out of Egypt.”
What I see in this passage is that God wants to bring us back to that time of ‘innocence’ – where we had nothing to fear or be anxious about. He wants to make all things new!
Personally, a new outlook on the situation has made this pregnancy much easier, anxiety-wise. I am currently 36 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby and have been at peace in knowing that this baby is protected and will be healthy. Prior to getting pregnant, I knew I needed to ‘prepare’ spiritually so as not to have an anxious pregnancy (have you ever gone on forums just to be told that when you conceive a rainbow baby, you’ll be afraid the entire pregnancy until you finally hold the baby in your arms? Ya, I’m not really into that line of thinking, thank you very much)
Every day I would make positive declarations over myself/my body, I would find scripture that would line up with what I was believing for, I would ask people to pray for me, and I would just spend more time with God. By the time I got pregnant, I was back to being optimistic about raising another child, rather than being worried about the pregnancy and if the baby would survive.
If you’re interested in having another baby after losing one, but dread worrying throughout the pregnancy about what the outcome might be, I recommend reading Supernatural Childbirth (see Books I Recommend) as it is filled with declarations, scriptural truths and testimonies to get you excited about having a hope-filled pregnancy.
How have you kept the faith after going through one of life’s storms? Do you find it easy to keep the faith when the unexpected happens? Any other comments or insights? I’d love to hear from you!