Who do we blame when we lose a loved one – one that we have been praying good health for?
Ourselves? God? Them? Fate?
Because God is the biggest and most powerful being, I think some may be quick to put the blame on Him. And should we? Well, we can if we want to, but that would just cause us to get stuck in a rut, not to mention the unfortunate consequence of losing our desire to spend time with Him.
After my miscarriage, I did just that; I put all the blame on the death of my baby on God. It made no sense to me that a God who was all loving and capable of healing and restoring could allow such an awful thing to happen. I suppose when it came to releasing anger, it felt good to have someone to blame the situation on. It felt good to point a finger at someone, and yell and release negative emotions on someone other than ourselves. But then what happens? When that person is God, and we turn the other way once we’re done our blaming, we block Him out from giving us what we really need at that moment – comfort.
I noticed a theme in my journal in the months following the miscarriage, and that was a loss of inspiration in spending time with God. My relationship with Him dwindled and my life seemed to have less purpose. You see the more we spend time with Him and learn the truths He has over our lives, the more hope our lives have.
Anger is a completely normal emotion to feel when grieving, but it’s important to remember that God will bring you supernatural peace that you won’t find elsewhere. So if we feel the urge to place the blame on someone, how about instead of directing it and our anger on God, we aim it at the enemy. The enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy – that sounds like more of a source to blame than our all-loving God.
Also, just because we are believers doesn’t mean our lives will be perfect. In fact it says in John 16:33 that there will be troubles in our lives, but God has overcome! We may be in turmoil now, but God will work all things out for the good.
It may be hard to understand how and why something could happen at the moment, and sometimes we’ll never know exactly why something happened, but I think instead of putting the blame on God, we should seek Him and find the comfort that He so much wants to give us. It is a part of life that we are born and die, and sometimes people leave the earth earlier than others for reasons unknown to us. It does bring personal comfort knowing that instead of living through the struggles and hardships of this world, that my little girl’s got invitations to Heaven straight away and will not have to deal with any of life’s troubles. And who knows? Maybe God had even given them the choice of staying up in Heaven, or staying alive here on earth and they chose to stay with God. Who knows.
All I know is, after losing Briela and not putting the blame on God but instead choosing to walk with Him and receive the healing comfort that He provides, I was able to heal much quicker and in a healthy way. I even felt the desire to bring hope to other women who have/are going through losses soon after my own loss. God is amazing, and good has already started to come!